doctor-roman:

nyxwoven:

doctor-roman:

I think whoever named worcestershire sauce that should have the worst tummy hurty ever

image

i have great news

MR. LEA I AM SO FUCKING SORRY

(via androgynousdragongay)

hubrislover:

maya-x-papaya:

hubrislover:

maya-x-papaya:

vamprisms:

science fiction as a genre was invented specifically to show lesbians some greasy sweaty women in tank tops fixing machinery

i’m the greasy sweaty woman in a tank top fixing machinery

can you take a look at my car it makes a weird whine when coasting at low gears

you got it, boss. sounds like it might be a long job workin on the gearbox, wanna bring me a couple beers before i get my hands dirty with this tranny?

Flattered but could you fix my car first though

(via gunsandfireandshit)

Anonymous:

There’s a Yaoi about side wound boypussy

cryptotheism:

ex-caeruleo:

cryptotheism:

Yeah yeah we’ve all read Matthew

NONE OF THESE WORDS ARE IN THE BIBLE

Matthew is literally in the Bible.

steakplissken:

no-thats-absurd:

heartshop:

clitfisto:

hyperfixating on this is not enough i need to eat it

Christians with jesus christ

why is there a new popular post with a joke about eucharist every week on this website

Mass is on Sundays

(via your-jellyfish-senpai)

tsuchinokoroyale:

dailyquests:

  • Perform the Sleep action Without gaining the “Well Rested status effect.
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(via your-jellyfish-senpai)

holdmecloseandfast:

keplercryptids:

thetumblrofrassilon:

operativesurprise:

keplercryptids:

keplercryptids:

I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”

him: you split up all the song of ice and fire books

me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect

him: [self-destructs]

You’re a monster

As a former bookstore employee, this hurts my soul. I mean, sure it looks nice, but how do you find anything?

it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.

my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.

OP your brain is neat and I love you for it you funky little color-coded cupcake. But you’re still a monster.

(via your-jellyfish-senpai)

jumpdriveproject:

image
Yakuza 0 OST - Substory Guitar Riff
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(via androgynousdragongay)

i-say-ok:

fleshdyke:

fleshdyke:

stjohnstarling:

No more apologizing for being horny on main. No more horny jail. We’re horny prison abolitionists. No gods, no masters! Wait. Okay maybe a few masters. Alright but no bars will hold us! No whips and chains will — fuck, hang on, let me start again.

ee; d w this

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sorry that was him

ok.

(via slugdge-boy)

professionalchaoticdumbass:

jamesroachmusic:

soselfimportant:

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy

oh we missed the ten year anniversary of the worst post i’ve ever made

traffic again?

(via slugdge-boy)

obstinatecondolement:

red-r0ver:

mono-red-menace:

mono-red-menace:

mono-red-menace:

the two genders are yes or no

and im STILL nonbinary!

so call me maybe

via @bagginshield

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[Screenshot of a tag: #carly they jepson]

(via potatrash)

fieldbears:

saintsideways:

battlships:

arsonforcharlie:

pengychan:

pengychan:

My brother’s girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it’s completely free if you’re in one of the “at risk” groups.

“What does that mean,” he asks.
“It’s free if you’re gay,” he’s told.
“Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or…?”
“Just put in a check mark here.”

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he’s stingy as it gets. So now he’s officially gay. Congrats bro.

“Doctor, give it to me straight”
“You sure, there’s a fee”
“… Give it to me gay”

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he’d have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

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(via potatrash)